We learn some more about Cooper Howard’s fall from grace, and Lucy learns a shocking lesson about life in Vaults, and how perfect it isn’t…

Let’s discuss Fallout. (Spoilers follow for this episode!)

Hoooo boy. OK.

Let’s start with Cooper/The Ghoul first. This episode sees him “arrested” by “the Govermint” (spelling is deliberate, and whatever it’s telling you, YEP) and brought before what passes for the law in these parts. A self-appointed President who saw a need for some structure and rule of law, and set about providing it. Or, to put it perhaps more truthfully, saw an opportunity to Be Somebody and grabbed it.

Too bad he didn’t have a better handle on who his friends were. Or, maybe, too bad he didn’t have friends to begin with.

BUT I DIGRESS. The Ghoul is dragged before him, they have a chat like old acquaintances do, his lackeys are shot for their audacity and his nice dinner is spoiled. BUT THEN. The Ghoul pulls a Wanted notice off the wall and asks who the woman in the sketch is. Sheriff President Fine Diner (ick, by the way) tells him that’s Moldaver. He says she looks different than how he remembers her.

Turns out, our rabble-rousing surface dweller used to be a rabble-rousing communist?! And Cooper MET WITH HER. At one of their secret meetings, to which he went at the invitation of a friend who made some very good points and voiced his own concerns about Vault-Tec and what they’re really up to.

And here, I believe, we begin to see the true shape of things emerge regarding how it all went wrong for our hero. His wife was committed to the Vault-Tec bit; she saw it as the only way to protect her family, but she wanted the best for them all, to be absolutely sure of achieving that. Cooper wasn’t so sure. AND RIGHTLY SO. But I can see where it’s leading, and it breaks my heart.

BUT MOLDAVER. So she was at this meeting. Before the bombs ever fell. And she’s alive and kicking and not twisted by radiation, breaking into Vaults and kidnapping Overseers??

I’m deliberately avoiding finding out anything spoilery here, but at this stage it’s beginning to hurt, I won’t lie. THIS IS KILLING ME. I WANT TO KNOW THE THINGS.

Speaking of wanting to know the things, Lucy and Maximus are getting to know their way around Vault 4 – but they are doing it in wildly different ways. In a twist from his initial wariness, Maximus is learning that Lucy was right when she said it wasn’t a bad life. He’s certainly enjoying the food! Though I suspect he’s enjoying it a little too well; his blandly smiling dismissal of Lucy’s growing concerns is downright cult-indoctrinated creepy, to the point where I’m honestly wondering what’s in that food.

… Though, after seeing what Lucy saw when she snuck into Level 12, I don’t want to know where that caviar came from.

ANYWAY. Horrifying secrets come to light as Lucy does her snooping thing, not least of which is that the resident refugees from the surface have been ritually worshipping “the Flame Mother” – who turns out to be none other than Moldaver. And if that wasn’t bad enough, there are some truly freaky experiments going on in this Vault THAT NO ONE TALKS ABOUT. Experiments on people. And fish things. (Hence the caviar avoidance, MAXIMUS YOU PUT THAT JAR DOWN RIGHT NOW PLEASE.)

There is a ton to process here about Lucy’s privilege, and it’s been an ongoing development as she realises that a) the importance of Vaulties to surface dwellers is not at all what she expected, and she really shouldn’t have expected anything less; and b) life in her precious Vaults is not as perfect as she believes. Turns out, Maximus wasn’t entirely wrong in the last episode: the Vaults ARE full of monsters. Human and otherwise.

Oh, Lucy. This is going to hurt, I’m afraid.

But she’ll survive. Right? Right.